sit down

Today is going to be one of those days that forces me to sit back in my chair.

“Just sit down. Take it in. I’m just going to take your heart out for a few minutes and show it to you. Won’t hurt a bit. Might actually be just a pinch enlightening.”

So that’s what I’m going to do with my few hours of cozy this morning while Xander is at school and my time is again completely and fully mine. I’m going to look at old Photoplay covers while Gary indulges in flipping from one movie to another. I’m going to pretend I live in 1940’s LA and have horses that rest behind ivy walls. I’m going to delay doing the dishes and the laundry and making the beds for at least an hour.

For tomorrow my morning will be all about license plates and paying dues and back to to my (rather relaxed now, mind you) grindstones. Today I am going to light some candles and watch the sunlight flicker in and  remember what makes me happy.

When I was around fourteen (fifteen? Freshman in high school are fifteen, right?) I harbored an odd obsession with Bette Davis. I would ride my bike to the library and check out biographies and photo remembrances and VHS copies of All About Eve and Now, Voyager and Of Human Bondage. In English class we were to dress up as a “historical figure” and give an in depth interview (conducted by our classmates) as the historical figure of your choice.  I chose Bette. I remember another girl chose Katherine Hepburn. Most others chose aviators and presidents and musicians and suffragettes but I had my own priorities and they were clearly, clearly in the stars. To prepare, my sweet mama took me to my favorite thrift store and I picked out a maroon dress that seemed of the era and wore an old hat of my great-grandmother’s. I even had a cigarette holder…I even had a sharp pair of black character shoes thanks to my theatrical extra curricular activities. Somewhere there’s a photo of this. Of my eyes widened and my legs crossed. I wish I still had the dress. I wish I still had the photo.

Anyway, head in the clouds and glad to be there. This vapor is temporary but for now it’s home. Xander has art class at school today which makes me happy. He has been loving the pure act of drawing lately. What used to be scenes made in Playmobil guys and blocks are now manifesting on paper with the good art markers and drawing pens I gave him. I love to draw but I’m not that great at it. Maybe he will be….and my usual role of support and fostering will be helpful on his own road.

And of the literary magazine? It’s trucking along. Have received submissions and love from all over. And that’s what I want. For my writing to help people find their happy, to gather everyone’s art and love and put it into something that can be held. Turn vapor into a solid.


2 thoughts on “sit down

  1. I hope your day is lovely and rejuvenating.

    Ugh, license plates and erranding…sometimes it can at least feel productive, but we need the other kinds of days for balance.

    Thanks for your recent comments! I’m glad you found my blog, and glad to have found yours!

  2. It was really relaxing…still is! When I worked in an office setting I used to quietly roll my eyes with all of the productivity talk…people might be cranking out work, but no one seemed all that happy – not even the boss.
    I’m glad I found your blog, too! I can’t even remember how I did now…

"... all my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures."

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