It’s not about fear. It’s about something pretty and small that flutters in your chest when you think of him. Your heart squeezes up so tight; all wrapped up in twine. You think his eyes are brighter than bright strands of sunlight and you’d like to know what he looks like without his clothes on. But Anna, Adam’s heart is locked into another’s. Those bright eyes are filled with the might and tunnel vision of obsessive love. Do you love him because you’ve seen him love? If he loved you, it wouldn’t be identical to his affections for Justine. It might be plainer, it might be less riddled with pain and longing, it might not resemble anything at all.
You’re afraid that he could never love you. But don’t worry, Anna. He will. He might be more slouch-shouldered, his eyes might be sadder, his arms more reserved when he embraces you before he rolls over and falls asleep. But he will still love you.