(…more for posterity than anything)

When boys are sad they self-destruct. They run in front of traffic. They want to see heaven, prematurely. Their mothers squeeze their small hands too tight and whisper no no no you can’t go. We’ll eat you up we love you so and you can’t go. Stay. 


Our version of the Proust questionnaire (Xander’s answers in italics):

What makes you feel safe? You, and Daddy. 

What is your greatest wish? Gamefly and Lego Universe. 

What is your favorite color? Blue. 

Season? Winter. 

Weather? Sunny. 

Dog or cat? Dog. 

What would you name the dog? Bologna. 

What makes you scared? Nightmares.

What makes you happy? Legos.

What do you like to do outside? Run. And trick or treat for candy. 


In September, when we were visiting the Knoxville Botanical Gardens, Xander broke free from our sides. He does this when he spots an open field; he has to run. After sprinting to the middle of the tall grass, he stopped, dropped, and put his head in his hands. I walked over to him, asked if he was hurt.


Okay, then what’s up? 

I’m meditating. 






7 thoughts on “(…more for posterity than anything)

  1. That’s my boy, he’s a walking contrast. His heart is so odd and sweet and kind (and at the same time so temperate and fierce). It’s so fun (and wild) watching him grow.

"... all my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures."

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