There’s a firefly trapped in the house, so odd that they’re even here so early. Since the climate has been so off-kilter this year, the park officials aren’t sure that the synchronous fireflies will be mating anywhere near on schedule. They might get frisky as early as May, or they might feel the rhythm of the campers and tourists’ pulses and they might wait until their regularly scheduled June.

I’m trapped a bit in terms of my writing right now. Not trapped from ideas or inspiration, rather I’m strapped for time to write seriously.  In looking over the pieces when I had just a good solid hour alone in the middle of the day, I realize that the work was more plentiful, and needed less editing. Now that I’m working full time the time to write is minimal, but I’m trying to use that to my advantage. I’m editing instead, and cobbling some pieces together. I’m on my way to a small collection of short short fiction and linear haiku poetry, don’t ya know.

I’ve changed some of the pieces on  here to private, since I’m going to be submitting them and putting them into collections. So if you’re racking your brain, looking for some old flash fiction piece, it’s still here, just hidden.

I had my orientation at the University of Tennessee on Friday, the same day that Xander had his field trip to a local animal sanctuary. He told me they had zonkeys there. I was sad to miss the zonkeys, but happy to discover that there are several Starbucks on the UT campus. So many. I drank so much coffee on Friday!

In the auditorium, listening to speakers and professors talk about the adult and transfer experience, I had a chance to look around the room and see who else was continuing or entering their college experience late, like I am. I noticed several women my age, a few men, a couple of couples, and lots of younger folks in their twenties. At 33, I feel a little wizend (kind of like a crone, or a medicine woman that you go to to get herbs or something), but this time I know what I want. I was confident when I spoke to my advisor. Everyone was so nice. So unlike my first college experience. They even gave us goat cheese to eat. I joked on facebook that at the freshman orientation, the students only get cheddar. If you’re a bit of a grownup type person, you get chevre.

Later Friday afternoon, Xander had his first karate class. He took taekwondo when he was five, but didn’t want to continue, and we were glad to see his interest in that class wane (shit was expensive). This class is at UT, and very reasonably priced. There is less chirpy, condescending stranger-danger talk and more meditating, more flowing movements, more punching and blocking and roundhouse kicks. The gi’s are black. The kids look a little bit like ninjas, and the sensei is a calm, soft spoken, neat guy with three sons in the class. Three or four college students are the apprentices, and the class in a basement room on campus.

I feel like a whole new city has opened up to us. We’re pretty immersed and comfortable here; we’ve always been the types to venture downtown on a weekly basis, to frequent the gardens, gelato shops and the  art festivals. We know that a lot of life is lived outside of the suburbs (though we love our 1950’s suburb). Though I’ve spent some time on campus for a few random cultural events and to one of the university museums, but I now feel like this huge resource has been gifted to not just me as a student, but to my whole family. We took Xander to see the track and field team practice last week, then to one of the central green areas where he played underneath a huge magnolia. While Gary and I talked and Xander ran, we noticed that there were hammocks in the stories-high magnolia, and some students were lying in them. While I’m a bit too focused and a bit too old to lie in that tree myself, I’m glad it’s there. I have my own trees right here, of course.

Ah, thank you for indulging me this. I love this space. I love the cleanness of it, and the instant way I can share here.




4 thoughts on “thinking

  1. It sounds like a whole new, exciting world has been re-opened to you! Very excited for your new/resumed journey to begin! Your heart sounds happy with its entire being.

  2. First of all…what are zonkeys? I must know! 🙂 Maycee and I are animal-lovers. Second of all…sounds like the beginning of a fulfilling new chapter…sounds like heaven on earth. 🙂

"... all my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures."

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s