temporary

The problem is that down here you’re landlocked, and the ocean is a day’s drive or more away. All your thoughts, good and bad, are allowed to stew and simmer in the boiling heat.

Even if your bad or sad thoughts (or wishes, or dreams, or fuck you I hate you’s) are carried off in the warm, dusty wind, they will eventually come back, riding on crow feathers and dandelion seeds. The ill feelings will rest on your shoulder once again and remind you just what you were mad about so long ago when your heart ached and you said cruel things. That is the fate of the people who live in this valley.

If you’re near enough to the ocean, any ill feelings that fester in your chest will be carried off in the jet stream. The air is so clean and clear that even if you loved someone and lost someone, the memory of your bellies touching will be whisked away before it can make you fall to your knees. The water will make you feel mellow and sweet, and when the whales call out to each other, you will be reminded that everything is temporary.

 

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12 thoughts on “temporary

  1. As someone who lives near the ocean, you’ve captured so well what I love about living near it. When I get too far inland, I feel an oppressive sense of staleness. I love the feeling of heavy things being carried off to sea, and standing facing it recalls sweet memories of those with whom I used to share ocean visits.

  2. It is one of his! I had never thought much about Whistler until I saw this painting in person at the National Gallery of Art in DC. Just otherworldly. xo

  3. Beautiful writing. I love the way you talk about thoughts “stewing and simmering” in the boiling heat. And thoughts that always seem to return “riding on crow feathers and dandelion seeds.” Such depth and complexity. Really great writing, your posts always have a sharp edge, but a soft depth of emotion and feelings. (I’ve gotta keep a close eye on my emails now, as I don’t get updated of your new posts in my WordPress Reader ? ? ?)

  4. When I found our home, the yellow submarine, I was thrilled that I could see the Pismo coastline from the top of the hill in our park. Being close to the ocean over most of my life, I can’t imagine not….Love this. XOXO-SWM

"... all my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures."

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