when the summer settles

When the summer settles in down here and the air becomes fluid and humid, I start missing the cool dry air of Alaskan summers. I miss the robin’s egg blue glaciers, and the fireworks they gave off before calving and falling into the ocean. I miss the moss that covered the ground, I miss the white birch and the black fir and the cool rain that misted the air.

 

But for all of my gumdrop reverie, I have to remind myself: there are beautiful things here that are not there. Here, there are butterflies as big as my fist, with orange wings and polka dot faces. There are fireflies that blink green and blue and gold, and fill up our front yard with color and light under the stars. We can see the stars all summer. Midnight does not mean sun, or purple twilight. It means quiet, crickets, cicadas, thunderstorms, the full moon and warm air.

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11 thoughts on “when the summer settles

  1. There is a longing that will never go away. Your writing makes ME miss Alaska and I’ve never even been there! Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts, and your heart’s yearning. It sounds like Alaska may have been your first love, what can ever take the place of that?

  2. I feel the same way as the first reader commented when I read your yearnings for Alaska. I felt the same way, sort of, for my hometown before I moved to where I am now. It has taken time to grow on me, for me to see its vast beauty in and of itself. Being a mom, sometimes, it’s hard to stay put. 🙂

  3. The landscape looks fake in that photo, it is so beautiful.

    I think about mountains and the ocean on the West Coast…I miss those. Ohio beauty is a different, quieter kind.

  4. I’ll have to post some of the shots Gary took of the ground/tundra. It looks brown and yellow in this photo, but up close it is blue, red, orange, green, black.

    It is a quiet beauty here, too. Our Smoky Mountains are peaceful, but ancient and sit so low compared to the behemoths of the West.

  5. oh I know this feeling so well having moved around a lot… I try to appreciate what I have here and now, but underneath I feel like I’m drifting between all the places I loved. Mostly I miss the warmth and passion of Italy and going back recently hasn’t made all those feelings of yearning resurface even stronger.

  6. It is an in between sort of feeling. It’s not bad, because it means that I’ve lived in some lovely places….but it can be a little heartsick and frustrating. xo

"... all my lovers were there with me, all my past and futures."

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